This conversation touched me deeply, not because I would lose a client, but because it resonated with memories of times, I wasn’t happy with my own image. It resonated with the feeling of self-torture and shame I used to feel. I was never skinny enough, even though my body mass index was saying the extreme opposite. Simply “I was never good enough”… always trying to reach an unreachable goal.
Back then, I didn’t have any Photoshop or Instagram filters to alternate my image, and I believe it wouldn’t be enough either. So instead of falling for photo-retouching, I fell into “bulimia solution”.
Me and myself, my harsh critic, my own enemy, never being satisfied. Never.
Trapped in this behavior for more than a decade, once I started psycho-therapy, I healed my traumas that caused this harmful self-perception, and this habit naturally left me.
I even realized what female figure I consider the most attractive one, and it wasn’t the one I was blindly trying to reach.
I don’t want to insinuate here that the clients who reach me with such a request, have psychological problems as I did. NOT AT ALL. I know that we live in a demanding society, we are constantly exposed to body image advice, comparison, antiaging marketing strategies, and the social media ‘showoffshower’, we disconnect from the natural or we do not like it for any reason it is. Well, that is not okay. I can understand it is trending now.
However, I can reject to participate.
And well, I thought that by sharing a part of my story I could maybe inspire someone to question the perception that their natural image is not good enough.
I believe WE ARE ALL SO PERFECT and it is so beautiful like our bodies are just unique. There is no other like this one and that’s awesome! There is nothing I would change about anyone!
And I realized, that this photographer’s retouching tools are very harmful, these are not tools to “improve your images”, these are very harmful tools to us, to our self-perception and self-worth. So as a show of respect to you, I won’t change the way you are.
Btw. Did it ever happen to you to hear your best friend, your grandma, or your brother or sister criticizing themselves and you stared at her/him and thought “What is this nonsense bullshit, you are the most beautiful person in the world!”
And that’s probably what they would say about you too! But saying it about to ourselves!? That’s something unthinkable… Well, that’s just sad. Are the Instagram filters and plastic surgery interventions more popular than SELF-LOVE? Being natural and happy in our own bodies is not trendy in the 21st century?
Well, I am fine with going against the flow and trends of social dictates.